Talk:Benchmark IV axl90

Example Comments

Here is an example of a very helpful comment with specific suggestions for improvement.

-Hello!- Overall very interesting entry!! I would suggest reading it carefully to correct some grammatical aspects of your entry. I am including some examples of what you can fix below:

“Neurotoxin (from Ancient Greek: νευρών neuron “sinew” and τοξικόν toxikon “toxin”) is a classification given to an extensive category of exogenous chemical neurological insults (Spencer 2000) which can adversely affect function in both developing and mature nervous tissue (Olney 2002), though the term can also be used to classify endogenous compounds which when abnormally concentrated can also prove neurologically toxic (Spencer 2000).” This is a run on sentence and thus not a good beginning to an opening paragraph. I would suggest splitting it up and also making it more concise.

“One notable example is possible significant lead exposure during the Roman Empire resulting from the development of extensive plumbing networks (Hodge 2002). In part, neurotoxins have been part of human history because of the fragile and susceptible nature of the nervous system, making it highly prone to disruption.” There is very poor transition between these two ideas – it seems that the information about the Roman Empire is randomly thrown in almost as a filler.

Also, I would change “high surface area of neurons” to “large surface area of neurons.”

--Student 1